Could cheating help your relationship?
I am all for that.
In light of the revelation on AshleyMadison.com that over 35 million people of both sexes are looking for partners to cheat with, – in addition to those who have opted not to take their cheating hearts to the digital medium – it is appropriate to look into the “whole cheating thing”. Cheating, I am told – I know nothing about that, Scout’s honour – is fun, exciting, exhilarating and rewarding. And yet most everyone who’s cheated believes it’s wrong to cheat. How could something fun and rewarding be wrong?
First, a primer on cheating:
- It’s been widely believed that men are the main culprits of this sin. Although we’re not sure what has caused the myth to transcend time and space, fairly recent stats prove how wrong society has been regarding the biblically condemned sin of nurturing physical attraction for someone else’s partner “thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife (Deuteronomy 5:21).” According to the stats, 70% of men have admitted to have had an affair while 60% of women admitted same. It remains somewhat puzzling as to why men have held the “cheater flag” for so long; even as of this writing, some (women) still believe that the stats are incorrect to put the percentage of women cheating at 60. The most plausible explanation for the wide discrepancy between the stats and the belief (among women) is that women are very slick, sleazier and much slicker than men.
- There are as many explanations as there are cheaters in regards to the reasons they cheat (or continue to cheat); among men (of all nations) one common denominator emerges as the main culprit for the deadly sin, lack of sex in their relationships according to a study published in 2005. The problem (lack of sex) is even most prevalent among married men. According to the study, “The higher your husband is satisfied sexually, the lesser he is likely to cheat on you.” Women on the other hand starts off looking for attention they no longer get in their current relationships.
The primer on cheating suggests that both sexes hold the key to decreasing the occurrences of the deadly sin; women could spend more time in bed with their partners, arrange for more sex opportunities. Marriage therapists suggest setting time aside – either in the morning before rushing out to work or late in the evening before falling asleep – regularly to have sex with your partners. Although the prescription – to keep your men from desiring other women – seems rather simple, couples who have followed the prescription report a more satisfying relationship and feel much closer to one another than before.
Men could pay more attention to their partners; before settling in a live-in together relationship, most men pay close attention to their newly found love. They usually compliment their partners for their hair, their eyes, their dresses, their shoes, their lovely desirable body shape, etc. And they usually pick up their ladies on a date handing them a bouquet of flowers. Those romantic gestures usually fade away (and stop altogether) after a longtime in the relationships. However, the ladies continue to crave for these types of attention.
Clearly those factors are within the control of both men and women in the relationships; unless you are in an abusive relationship, it’s worth remembering the vows you took to “love and cherish ‘till death do us apart”, for cheating is not without consequences; according to a study, cheating contributes as much as 17% of all divorces. The power to stop cheating in your relationship is within your reach; it is in your hands. It is you. The best approach is to do what you have control over, not what your partner is supposed to do. If you use the prescription, everything will fall into place, as if by miracle.
Watch this column as we discuss next time how to easily find out whether your partner is cheating.