If you’ve cheated before, your opinion on the cheating topic is most likely shaped by your past (or ongoing) action and of course the excuse/s you’ve cooked up for committing the deadly sin; if you’ve been cheated on, you are most likely resentful of cheaters; you are most inclined to judge (all) other men/women as potential cheaters. Trust (in or of others, especially the opposite sex) may become a very rare commodity in your life. Whichever predicament you’re in, there seems to be one common denominator among all groups, cheating is wrong, cheating is bad.
Not so fast say some scholars; a study conducted by Dr. Lucielle Ostertag from the Italian Institute of Social Sciences reveals that “Cheating Makes Your Marriage Stronger.” – I can’t wait to begin the process of strengthening my marriage; it’s been so weak lately, you know. I will do anything to change that – Dr. Ostertag set out to prove that infidelity is bad “I started the analysis project to discover how damaging infidelity was to marriages,” but she was flabbergasted by her finding, “I was as surprised as everyone when the numbers proved that cheating on your spouse is actually good for your marriage.” says Dr. Ostertag.
In light of the contradictory finding by Dr. Ostertag (that cheating is good for your relationship), should we all jump into the infidelity bandwagon searching for a cheating partner? – AshleyMadison.com seems the perfect venue, assuming of course the objective is to strengthen your marriage or your current relationship. – Before you start jumping of joy, rushing to catch the infidelity wagon already crowded by cheaters of all races, keep in mind that the study didn’t address what would happen if both partners – in the relationship – are cheating simultaneously. Yes I know. It’s so disappointing. While the study falls short of providing a way out for cheating couples, Dr. Ostertag suggests to keep your cheating heart to yourself; in other words, even if you feel guilty about cheating on your partner, it’s wise to simply end the habit without revealing it – ever – to your partner.
That’s where I come in, to provide a way to find out whether your partner is cheating.
First, a warning!
Finding out that your boyfriend/girlfriend, fiancé/fiancée or spouse is cheating on you is not without consequences; some people would react irrationally. There are instances when the partners were caught in the act and turned fatal. Understandably so, it is not easy to rationalize about broken trust. Everyone in a serious relationship expects his/her partner to act in trust toward one another. Imagine for one moment what it would be like to walk into your house and find your partner making love to someone else. Would it be any better if you catch them coming out of a hotel/motel? If you simply catch them kissing at the park, or in the car, would it be so bad? Now, imagine they are simply holding hands walking down the streets, is it considered cheating? Is it a breach of trust? Does any of those aforementioned scenarios represent ground for breaking the relationship? Some people would contemplate reciprocation as a way to cope with a cheating partner, do you? Would you?
As it is probably obvious, to find out that your partner is cheating on you is not “pretty”; your relationship will never be the same; your life will never be the same again. In the next column, before I reveal the secret to finding out whether your partner is cheating on you, I will tell you how I personally prepare myself should it happen to me, again. Yes, it did happen to me before.Follow @mducheiney