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Despite a busy schedule dealing with both domestic and international turmoil, the “I will fix everything” Republican hero and role model Donald Trump managed to set time aside to offer some much needed advice to bro O’Reilly, currently navigating the “sexual harassment” landmine. No stranger to that environment, Mr. Trump is best able to provide a way out that quagmire to Bill. Fortunately, we were not too far away and were able to eavesdrop; wiretapping was not possible. Below, verbatim is the dialog between the two most powerful sexual predators in America, if one ignores Bill Cosby.

Trump: you know Bill, I just grab them by the pussy, kiss them, do whatever I want
O’Reilly: It’s funny how easy it is when you have money, you just come out and ask them to do whatever

Trump: What do you mean? Why do you have to ask? I just grab them by the pussy?
O’Reilly: Is it that easy for you? I have to be careful

Trump: I don’t have that kind of time Bill, I just grab them by the pussy and start kissing them
O’Reilly: Aren’t you afraid of being sued?

Trump: Yeah! But … you know, it doesn’t matter, I just grab them by the pussy
O’Reilly: What if all of them come out to denounce you?

Trump: I’ll call them liars; I have my attorneys take care of that. I do whatever it takes to shut them out or shut them up
O’Reilly: So, you think I can use the same approach?

Trump: Of course! Look at me now. The morons gave me a promotion. I am now the President of the United States, can you believe this?
O’Reilly: I guess you’re right; I hope you’re right

Trump: I know I’m right; you’re a good man Bill. But you shouldn’t have settled with them. You give them an edge when you settle
O’Reilly: what do you think I should do now?

Trump: You are a good person Bill, just continue to do what you do best. Deny everything! Deny! Deny! It will all go away, eventually. You might even become president some day. There is no lack of morons in this country. You just have to lie to them; just keep lying.
O’Reilly: Who are you talking to? I work at Fox; lying is our bread and butter.